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[老母] 喜宴為何總是讓人失控

2015 10月 動物園課第三堂之大鳥大便哥

很遺憾的我說的失控其實指的是我自己
雖然我失控一直都不是新鮮事,但喜宴總是特別讓我容易動怒。
尤其是他馬的總是很會拖的「台北」喜宴!
我不是要引戰,但比起好像很隨性的南部人的喜宴,台北的喜宴開場時間永遠都是喜帖上的一小時之後。這一小時真的很逼瘋人啊!總得是要提前到達吧,也就是說到真的開場,孩子們能吃糖的都吃飽了,不能吃糖的也跑累了,很欠罵的也早就罵到爆炸。
才開桌,才上菜,而且可能還是孩子不對胃口的菜。這不是自討苦吃是什麼?
以為開桌就順順利利了嗎?正好相反,生小孩前很愛看的二次進場表演,更成了一個苦頭。
菜得停下來不能上不說,那講得有夠稀奇的進場禮物還可能引起孩子一陣哭鬧。
更麻煩的是好不容易弄到手了,很拍謝!是很可怕的糖果。
早就已經身心俱疲的孩子,哪能在時候聽到一句「這個你不能吃」
偏偏更早就身心俱疲的老母,更聽不得一句「我要吃我要吃」!
就這樣還沒有EQ的,對上EQ很差的。下半場的喜宴怎麼可能有多愉快。
除此之外,身為全職媽媽有莫名的自以為的自我要求跟自尊的我,永遠忍不住地希望孩子可以表現得「分外」優秀。最好可以有禮貌的跟每個大人打招呼,回應寒暄。還要可以配合上菜速度淺嚐每一道菜。更要耐心等待大人聊天的空襠才可以跟父母講話。
是不是好難?嗯哼 。寫文章的時候我都覺得好難。
在當下我永遠覺得理所當然。真是他馬的豬腦。

另外一個更讓人崩潰的是,屁孩咩就跟大嬸一樣。
哪裏有熱鬧就往哪裡湊一整個超愛跟風。
只要同桌有個小孩出去放風了,這下可好每個都要比照辦理。
也許有人覺得讓小孩出去走一走也好啦?
才怪!!!!!!
跟脫韁野馬的屁孩一放出去,多半就是在大廳瘋狂奔跑。
遇到同好更可怕,英雄打架遊戲馬上就登場。
再則,有這麼容易收尾嗎????
還要再花很多時間勸進會場裡。饒了我吧!拜託!拜託

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the sign

This is the talisman that I bought last year in Japan. It came from a famous temple which is shown in Geisha. the exact temple in which the heroine runs across numerous red gateway.
the talisman is meant to protect the one who wears it and to reconcile the possible danger before hand.
Usually, I am not a very superstitious person. however this kind of trivial signs always bother me a lot.
Every time something close to me is broken or lost, I could not help but wonder if there was something happened and I did not know for the moment and forever.
The sense of insecurity would annoy me for a while until the busy life schedule pushs me further.

On the other hand, I am kind of released at this moment, for I tend to assume this talisman had
solved some possible problem or danger for me.

This evening on my way to the MRT station, this Fox-shaped talisman dropped on the elevator.
Immediately I pick it up and keep it in my bag.
Then once again, I wonder what could happen and what would happen~

My Thesis--Final draft

Chapter One—
Introduction: Amy Tan’s Transition from an Ethnic Writer
to a Global Writer

Why does Amy Tan want to replace her original interest with new subjects? What are the vital factors leading to her drastic exchange? How does her new work reflect the transition? These questions might puzzle a reader as s/he reads Amy Tan’s latest novel—Saving Fish from Drowning (2005). Needless to say, Amy Tan, the author of The Joy Luck Club (1989), is popular among many literature lovers all over the world. Right after the publication of her first novel, it became the bestseller of the year, lingering more than 40 weeks on the New York Times best-seller list. The Joy Luck Club was not only the candidate for National Book Award and the National Book but also received the Commonwealth Gold Award and the Bay Area Book Reviewers Award at the end of that year. Compliments and praises surged one another and the literature community has esteemed Tan as one of the most important Chinese American writers …